For sixty minutes, the Brown Men’s Soccer Team looked lethargic, and they fell behind by a goal to Ivy rivals Yale. Then, for thirty minutes, the Bears came to life and dominated their opponents, only to see chance after chance fail to score. The result was a 1-0 loss at home on senior day, a loss that ended the Bears’ regular season with a 10-4-3 record, 3-2-2 in the Ivy League. They now eagerly await the NCAA Tournament selection show, scheduled for 4 p.m. today.
Now, here is your post-game report:
Warm-Up –Instead of the usual warm-up CD, the teams stretch to the sounds of a Fox Soccer Channel broadcaster doing the same take approximately sixteen times. “Today we travel to
Kickoff – The stands fill with Brown students donning their new “Beat Yale” t-shirts, over heavy sweatshirts and winter coats. As the stands fill, the temperature continues to fall, and alumni gather inside the heated Brown Sports Foundation tent, next to the field.
1st minute – Before a large crowd and a national television audience, both teams come out looking a bit nervous, and they move the ball quickly from side to side. Some aggressive early defending leads to several fouls.
4th minute – As the game settles down, Brown players grow confused and think that “out of bounds” is actually a player on their team, and they pass him the ball repeatedly.
17th minute – In one of just two first-half scoring chances, the Bears run a set piece that finds Ben Brackett ’07 at the back post. His first-time right foot volley off a chipped ball flies hard into the outside of the net.
43rd minute – A Yale player breaks down the left wing and curls the ball into the middle, where it finds a streaking Yale forward. The player’s header flies into the upper left corner of the net, off the fingertips of sprawling Brown goalkeeper Jarrett Leech ’09. The player sprints to his bench and performs one of the most, um, upsetting celebrations in Ivy League soccer history. Picture this: A grown man in a soccer uniform gyrating like a belly dancer with flaccid tentacles, and then falling to the ground. Seriously. 1-0 Yale.
45th minute – After witnessing forty-five minutes of (mainly) turnovers, missed passes, and fouls, the national television audience heads to the bathroom and shoves a finger down its collective throat.
46th minute –Brown picks it up in the second half.
57th minute – On the right wing, Ian Premo ’07 beats a player with a clever step-over and curls in a perfect cross, only to see it punched away by the keeper.
66th minute – Brian Joyce ’07 serves in a beautiful corner and Rhett Bernstein ’09 who, as he always does, leaps high and wins the header. With the keeper out of position and a wide open goal, Bernstein smashes it just inches over the crossbar.
72nd minute – Andrew Daniels’07 turns a defender near the end-line and serves in a laser. Dylan Sheehan ’09 heads just wide of the left post.
78th minute – Daniels beats two players down the right flank and crosses the ball into the middle. This time, it is knocked down among a crowd of players, where Steve Sawyer finds himself seated on a Sit-n’-Spin®. Turning the wheel of his large plastic toy, he rotates his body to the left and hits a seated volley from point blank range, only to see it saved by the keeper.
88th minute – Daniels beats yet another player and serves yet another ball into the box. This time, Sheehan flicks it behind his left leg toward the lower left corner of the net. Attempting to help the ball into the net, Jamie Granger ’06.5 accidentally pushes it into the goalie, and the ball somehow manages to stay out of the goal.
90th minute – The final whistle blows, and the Bears applaud the large contingent of fans who braved the cold to support their seniors and their team. Showing an even steelier perseverance, Brown parents attend a post-game reception in the now sub-zero temperatures, held next to the field. Coach Noonan acknowledges and congratulates the seniors on a fine career at Brown, and tells them (and everyone else) that it isn’t over yet. It’s time to get ready for the selection show on Monday.
Final Score: Brown 0, Yale 1
Overall Record: 10-4-3
Ivy Record: 3-2-2
Next Match: ? ? ? (Selection show on Monday, November 6th at 4 p.m.)
