Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The NCAA is Evil

I am told that B2 Networks will NOT be video webcasting the game tonight because, as I understand it, the NCAA does not allow outside organizations to make money from NCAA Tournament events. Of course, this would make more sense to me if the NCAA offered its own video webcast which, of course, they do not.

But fear not, there is good news. There will be both a Game Tracker and an audio webcast with Mike Rubin available on the Brown athletics website: www.brownbears.com

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The All-Ivy Selections

Ivy League Player of the Year - Matt Britner ’07.5
Ivy League Rookie of the Year - Paul Grandstrand ‘11

First Team All-Ivy
Matt Britner ’07.5 (unanimous selection)
Rhett Bernstein ‘09
Nick Elenz-Martin ‘10
Kevin Davies ‘08
Dylan Sheehan ‘09

Second Team All-Ivy
Paul Grandstrand ‘11

Honorable Mention All-Ivy
Darren Howerton ‘09
Chris Roland ‘10

http://www.ivyleaguesports.com/article.asp?intID=6307

Monday, November 19, 2007

Brown 3, Columbia 2 (OT)

Friday - On the way to New York, the team stops at Mario's (an Italian restaurant in Westport, CT) for dinner. While parking, the bus driver rams the bus into a cement barrier. Without assessing the damage to bus or barrier, he pulls out from the restaurant and begins what should be a quick 45-minute jaunt to Tarrytown, NY. Three hours, fifteen minutes, and one very unhappy head coach later, the team finds the hotel. The path followed is so nonsensical that it simply had to be recreated here. Follow the team's amazing adventures by clicking "View Larger Map" below and reading the text bubbles. Like terror levels, bubble colors correspond to Coach Noonan's anger levels. Green = Happy, Yellow = Agitated, Red = Blistering Rage. Enjoy!


View Larger Map

Saturday - So, the word on Columbia was that they had thrown in the towel. Evidence would support this theory, as the Lions were 3-12-1 coming into the match and had lost their previous four games by a combined score of 15-5...(dots indicate ominous foreshadowing)

Warm-Up - Columbia's seniors are introduced to a small but vocal group of supporters. Having already been eliminated from the post-season, this will be the last game of their career.

1st minute - Columbia comes out playing like, well, it's the last game of their career. They are full of energy and fight, very unlike the team that had been scouted.

15th minute – During a quick counter-attack, Columbia plays the ball to its left striker, who cuts it back to the top of the eighteen yard box. A teammate sprints in and fires an inside-of-the-foot shot past a helpless Paul Grandstrand. Brown is still asleep, and it is 1-0 Columbia.

16th minute – Columbia decides that one goal should do it, and they spend the next thirty minutes slowly withdrawing from the Brown half like a Galapagos tortoise cautiously retracting its head.

17th – 45th minutes – Lots of Brown shots, no Brown goals.

Halftime – “If you panic, you will lose this game. Don't try to be the hero. Relax, pass the ball, and play soccer.” Sage advice from Coach Noonan.

46th minute – A much better-looking Brown team takes the field, and I don’t just mean that Jarrett Leech replaced Paul Grandstrand at halftime. Brown begins to move the ball crisply.

47th – 65th minutes – Brown has many, many, many chances but still cannot score.

71st minute – A corner kick eludes everyone and finds Chris Roland beyond the far post. He settles the ball and curls in a vicious cross, which Jon Okafor meets with a slashing run before volleying home at the near post. Finally, a 1-1 tie.

75th minute – Having drawn blood, Brown continues to surge forward. A nifty passing sequence culminates with a spectacular miskick by a Columbia defender, and T.J. Thompson pounces on his poor clearance to fire into the lower corner of the goal. 2-1 Brown. With the shot count at 17-4, surely victory must be Brown’s!

83rd minute – On just its second scoring chance of the half, Columbia launches the ball forward into the Brown penalty area from just inside midfield. A Columbia forward rises and somehow gets his head on the ball, popping it over both keeper and defender and into the open goal. 2-2 tie.

OT –The Columbia keeper makes several saves. One of them might have been the best save in the history of college soccer. I really can’t remember; it's all a blur.

2nd OT – Coach Noonan subs in Okafor and tells him to “get on the goalkeeper.” Darren Howerton puts a corner kick in the box, right on top of the keeper. Okafor leaps and appears to disrupt the keeper, who pushes the ball toward his own net. In the ensuing melee, the ball somehow finds its way into the net. 3-2 Brown, a golden goal.

Brown parents and alumni rush onto the field to celebrate the team’s win and perfect Ivy season. The 2007 Brown team becomes just the second Ivy League team in the past twenty years to post a 7-0 record in league play. A t-shirt to the first person to name the other.

Overall Record: 15-1-1
Ivy Record: 7-0
Next Game: Wednesday, November 28th @ 7 pm vs. Providence/Old Dominion

Monday, November 12, 2007

Brown 1, Dartmouth 0: Ivy League Champions!


On a wintry Saturday night at Stevenson Field, the Brown Men’s Soccer team defeated perennial rival Dartmouth 1-0 and secured the 2007 Ivy League title. Dylan Sheehan provided the late game-winner, heading a Darren Howerton flip-throw into the net in the 83rd minute. Paul Grandstrand made several saves in goal to improve to 10-0-1 on the season, and the Brown backline of Matt Britner, Rhett Bernstein, Steve Sawyer and David Walls earned their fourth consecutive shutout. Brown now has not been scored on in six hours and fifteen minutes of play. The title is Coach Noonan’s seventh in thirteen seasons at Brown and the program’s nineteenth overall. The Bears conclude the regular season at Columbia on Saturday, November 17th and, now guaranteed a spot in the NCAA tournament, await the selection show on Monday, November 19th.

Here is your post-game report:

Pre-game – Seniors Jon Behrendt, Laurent Manuel, Kevin Davies, Matt Britner, and manager Wesley Royce take the field with their parents to be honored for four years of loyal service.

National Anthem – Long-time Brown Soccer announcer Chris Wahl asks the crowd to “Please rise and honor America with the singing of our national anthem.” A prolonged silence ensues. Players, coaches and fans cast inquiring glances toward the scorer’s table, where frantic employees press play on the unresponsive CD player. Then, in a performance that will forever live on in Brown Soccer lore, the vocally untrained Chris Wahl grabs the microphone and says, “Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in the SINGING of our national anthem…Oh-ho saaay can you seeeee….” As Wahl bellows out the tune like a hungry, slightly intoxicated Johnny Cash trying to get through a pre-dinner prayer, crowd members alternately laugh and sing along. He changes keys three or four times, but gets nearly all of the words right and, at song’s end, tips his hat to the crowd and receives a much-deserved standing ovation.

Hear Wahl's American Idol worthy performance here:



1st minute – As per the Brown—Dartmouth tradition, the game starts (and ends) like an oversized match of ping pong. Both teams launch the ball back and forth, with most contacts being headers or aerial volleys.

14th minute – Steve Sawyer plays a beautiful ball up the left wing to Kevin Davies, who strips the ball from a Darmouth defender, cuts it past a second defender, sprints into the box and lines up a wide open shot, only to completely misfire.

23rd minute – Darren Howerton receives a shove from a Dartmouth player and falls to the ground. The referee blows his whistle and runs over to issue a yellow card to the offending player, who ignores him and pursues Howerton, accusing him of diving. Pointing an accusatory finger, he shoves Howerton again, this time sending the wide midfielder sprawling to the ground. The outraged Colosseum masses hurl vile insults at the Big Green player and, as the referee reaches for his pocket, turn their thumbs downward. Off with him! He’s gotta go! The stadium official, Eric The Merciful, issues only a yellow card, sending the great unwashed into chants of protest.

30th minute – A Dartmouth forward sneaks between Brown’s two central defenders, chests down a cross, and fires a shot just over the crossbar.

32nd minute – Central midfielder Chris Roland collects a ball twenty-five yards from goal and shoots as hard as he can. His drive knuckles and finds its way through a crowd of players, but is gobbled up by Dartmouth’s Goliathan keeper.

Halftime – An impressive queue forms at the hot chocolate booth as the last few seats are filled by late-arriving fans hoping to suffer through just 45 minutes of November cold.

46th – 60th minutes – Dartmouth keeps Brown pinned in its own end. Matt Britner and Rhett Bernstein take turns breaking up Big Green attacks with well-timed slide tackles, while Paul Grandstrand punches away several dangerous crosses. The crowd urges them on.

67th minute – A Dartmouth forward strips David Walls of the ball and finds himself aggressively pursued by the fiery Englishman. Walls focuses his crosshairs on the player’s right shin and moves in for the kill, missing with his first swipe but connecting solidly with his second to send ball and player crashing out of bounds. The crowd raucously applauds his crunching tackle, and Walls proudly joins the ranks of the yellow carded.

74th minute – After another tussle, two more players are issued yellow cards.

83rd minute – As the crowd crescendos with anticipation, Darren Howerton hurls a flip-throw into the Dartmouth penalty area. Dylan Sheehan posts up his defender and flicks the ball toward the back post with the top of his head. The stadium holds its breath, wondering who will get the next touch, and to the surprise of nearly everyone, the ball skips to the back post and into the side netting. Brown celebrates wildly. Another Ivy League battle, another goal from a flip-throw. 1-0 Brown.

87th minute – After a Dartmouth corner, Jon Okafor collects a loose ball in his own half and charges forward, flanked by a battalion of teammates. Pulling away from his inferiors, he pushes the ball forward and charges beyond midfield, drawing Dartmouth’s final defender. The defender lunges to win the ball but arrives late and sends Okafor soaring through the air. Scores of Romans explode into a fit of rage, again demanding red from the referee, but again seeing only yellow. Outrage!

90th minute – Dartmouth’s final attack is smothered by Brown’s defense and the clock counts down to zero. Fans pound their chests and Brown players storm the grounds to celebrate their Ivy League title.

Post-Game Reception - Coach Noonan officially accepts the Ivy League trophy and returns it to what he calls, “It’s rightful place” (the glass cabinet in his office). After closing and locking the cabinet door, he melts the key down, swallows it one gulp and utters, “Try to get it back NOW.”

Final Score: Brown 1, Dartmouth 0
Overall Record: 14-1-1
Ivy Record: 6-0
Next Game: Saturday, November 17th @ Columbia, 7 pm

Monday, November 05, 2007

Brown 2, Yale 0


Saturday - Perhaps as a reminder that the Christmas season officially begins after Halloween (sorry, Thanksgiving, you had your time) Tropical Storm Noel travels up the eastern seaboard, producing heavy winds and rain from New Hampshire to New Jersey. Both teams agree to postpone the match until Sunday, and Brown passes the afternoon with a light jog to the Providence Hurricane Barrier and back. Said Coach Noonan, "I figured there was a hurricane, so we should go to the Hurricane Barrier." Makes sense to me!

1st minute - Brown immediately sets the tone by stripping Yale of the ball and stringing together a long sequence of passes. They control from the start.

12th minute - Another great series of passes frees Darren Howerton down the left flank. His perfect cross finds Dylan Sheehan at the back post, but Sheehan's close range header is saved by the keeper.

27th minute - Jon Okafor launches a rocket just over the crossbar.

36th minute - Rhett Bernstein catches an elbow to the face and hears a colossal "pop." Athletic trainer Matt Culp arrives on the scene and asks what happened, to which Bernstein replies, "Oh, he broke my nose." Aided, as always, by his adamantium-reinforced bones, Bernstein shakes it off and reenters the game. In the broken nose derby, Bernstein now trails assistant coach Ken Murphy 5-3.


These glasses now sit a bit more crookedly

38th minute - Rhett Bernstein delays the game for approximately three hours, attempting to tie his right shoe. As fans begin to nod off from boredom, the Brown coaching staff wonders if the blow that broke Rhett's nose also knocked out his memory of the "bunny ears" technique. Bernstein later blames it on "cold hands."

43rd minute - TJ Thompson beats two players and clatters the crossbar with a swerving, gyroscopic shot.

HALFTIME - After 45 minutes of utter domination, Coach Noonan tries to think of what to say at halftime. "What do I tell them?" he asks, scratching his head. The shot count stands at 13-1, and Brown has played arguably its best half of the season. They have simply played Yale off the field. The entire staff looks off into space for five minutes, coming up with nothing, but (importantly) giving the team the impression that they are discussing important matters.

70th minute - Chris Roland curls a teasing ball into the penalty area. Darren Howerton beats both keeper and defender to the ball and pops it to Kevin Davies with his head. Davies fires a quick volley into the half-open net, finally breaking the deadlock. 1-0 Brown.

73rd minute - Rhett Bernstein badly mistimes a bicycle kick. Then, as if playing Rhett Says, Steve Sawyer attempts to bicycle kick Bernstein's bicycle kick. This proves to be a terrible, terrible idea.

84th minute - Right back Laurent Manuel plays a beautiful forward pass to central midfielder Nick Elenz-Martin. Elenz-Martin races toward goal, draws the goalkeeper and defender, and drills the ball across the goal to sliding striker Dylan Sheehan. The ball pops up, rolls up Sheehan's shee-in, settles on the Canadian's belly, and toboggans into the net. 2-0 Brown.

After the game: Dance party in the shower!

Final Score: Brown 2, Yale 0
Overall Record: 13-1-1
Ivy Record: 5-0-0
Next Match: Saturday, November 10th vs. Dartmouth, 4 pm @ Stevenson Field

Brown 2, Rutgers 0

A winning machine. That's the best way to describe the current state of the Brown Men's Soccer team. Even when they don't play well, as was the case against Rutgers on Wednesday night, they get the result. The boys slipped and slid around the deceptively slick field for 90 minutes, rarely stringing together nice passing sequences. But they clamped down on defense and produced just enough good chances to get two goals and the victory. Man of the Match Kevin Davies had a goal and an assist, David Walls scored his first collegiate goal, Matt Britner shined in defense, and Jarrett Leech earned the shutout in goal.

Now, here is your post-game report:

1st minute - Brown inserts several new players for its last non-conference game of the year.

2nd - 14th minutes - Bad soccer. Both teams.

15th minute - Kevin Davies strips a Rutgers defender of the ball and sprints toward goal on a clear breakaway. His low shot is saved by the keeper.

HALFTIME - With the score knotted at zero, Coach Noonan warns the boys that they are in danger of another "BU performance" (Brown played poorly and lost 1-0 to BU earlier this season). "It's gotta be better!"

53rd minute - Jon Okafor dashes into the box from his right wing position and has his feet taken out from him by a sliding defender. Referee!!!

62nd minute - Matt Britner curls a perfect 40-yard ball into the space between the Rutgers central and left defenders. Kevin Davies spins off the central defender and outruns him as the keeper charges off his line. But the diminutive Davies is too quick for both of them as he toe pokes the ball over the keeper's shoulder and into the net. After the game, he claims that he actually shot the ball with his cleats. 1-0 Brown.

88th minute - With time running out and Brown protecting a 1-0 lead, David Walls sets up a free kick at midfield. Inexplicably, the referee issues him a yellow card for "time wasting." The card is Walls' fifth, meaning he will miss the Yale match.

89th minute - Kevin Davies begins an epic clutch-and-grab battle with a Scarlet Knight defender. Sprinting side by side over thirty yards, they jostle this way and that as the ball heads toward the sideline. (Picture in slow motion, with groans and moans.) Both players eventually slide out of bounds, but Davies somehow manages to keep the ball in bounds, while the Rutgers defender collapses, exhausted. The defender remains on his back in total fatigue, and appears to make a mud angel as Davies scampers toward goal with the ball. Finding himself on the first 4-on-1 of his career (that's four Brown attackers, one Rutgers defender), Davies ignores cries of "take it to the corner" and charges toward goal. How can you blame him? He plays it across the goal to David Walls, who takes a touch and calmly slots it past the Rutgers goalie. After the game, when asked what in the world he was doing so far forward on the last play, Walls replies, "Well, I figured I had me ten days rest, so I'd knock one home."

At least that's what I think he said.

Final Score: Brown 2, Rutgers 0
Overall Record: 12-1-1
Ivy Record: 4-0-0
Next Game: Saturday, November 3rd @ Yale