Brown 2, Santa Clara 1

The Brown Men's Soccer team kicked off the 2007 season in style with a 2-1 victory over Santa Clara on Friday night at Stevenson Field. Heading into the match, Santa Clara was ranked #5 in the NSCAA Coaches Poll after going 13-5-5 and reaching the NCAA Quarterfinals last season. Though the Broncos were good, nearly everyone in attendance would agree that the result was fair, as Brown played well and earned more quality scoring chances. Strike partners Dylan Sheehan '09 and Kevin Davies '08 scored for the Bears, and freshman Paul Grandstrand '11 earned the victory in goal. The Bears continued the Brown Adidas Classic on Sunday afternoon with a 3-1 victory over Fordham, who was not ranked #5 in the nation.

Now, here is your post-game report:

Februrary, 2007 - Architects and Engineers discover that the Smith Swim Center is structurally deficient, citing rotting wooden beams. Brown closes the building down and begins construction on a temporary swim center in the back parking lot.

September 7th, 2007, 6:00 pm - The pre-game Adidas Classic BBQ, now a featured part of freshman orientation, is held in front of the OMAC due to the temporary pool (which I like to picture as an above ground pool). As per the BBQ tradition, the scent of broiled burgers and french fries mixes with freshman pheromones, creating that unmistakable back-to-school sports atmosphere.

Warm-Up: As the stands begin to fill, the boys warm up to an appalling medley of girly Pop/House/Hip-Hop. Assistant Coach Anders Kelto receives inquisitive looks as the players ask who submitted this wretched compilation. Kelto pleads ignorance as the players do high knees and heel kicks to the sounds of a technofied Cindy Lauper and the Black Eyed Peas doing "Ole Ole Ole." The CD's origins remain unknown.

Introductions: Six members of the Bruno United Boys U13 soccer team are given the honor of serving as ball kids and running onto the field with the Brown players. In Europe, junior players take the field holding hands with the players, but American boys are, for obvious reasons, much less comfortable with this arrangement. The result becomes a hilarious series of "Do I hold or not hold?" decisions, with some boys going "European," some offering just a wrist, and some proving their manhood by breaking free of all physical man-to-man contact. Kids.

1st minute - Amidst perfect conditions, Santa Clara takes the kickoff and hits a long diagonal ball deep into Brown territory, an act that would be repeated many times throughout the game. As Coach Noonan points out, they play Northern Cali soccer, not Southern Cali soccer.

10th minute - Brown remains trapped in its own end, unable to keep possession for any period of time. Perhaps it is first game jitters?

15th minute - Birthday Boy Steve Sawyer '09 defends Santa Clara's speedy right winger superbly, forcing him to the end line with patience and good footwork. As he goes to tackle the ball, however, it takes an unfortunate bounce and squirts toward the Brown goal. The Bronco winger slips by Sawyer and whips in a perfect cross, where a gargantuan center forward heads it in. 1-0 Santa Clara.

27th minute - Brown gets a grip on the game and begins forcing Santa Clara back into its own end. A flip-throw by Darren Howerton '09 is flicked on by Nick Elenz-Martin '10 before Dylan Sheehan misses what appeared to be an easy header at the far post.

32nd minute - Alumnus Ben Brackett '07, no longer on the field, nonetheless makes his mark on the game. He shouts so many instructions and cheers so passionately that he is actually written up by a Brown police and security officer, who insists that he is a student. To prove to the disbelieving officer that he is not, in fact, a Brown student, he flashes his Brown Alumni ID card as his friends snicker in rapt amusement.

38th minute - Some fine combination play between Davies, Sheehan, and freshman Jon Okafor '11 ends with the incredibly speedy freshman breaking free down the right wing. He cuts the ball back to the middle where, after a slight redirection, it falls to Sheehan. The Canadian's point blank effort is saved by the goalie's feet and the ball pops beyond the penalty area to freshman David Walls '11, who sees his looping left footed volley parried away by the repositioned keeper.

42nd minute - A corner kick scramble eventually falls to striker T.J. Thompson '10 at the far post. The ball seems to float above ground, just two yards from the net like a fat, confused hummingbird begging to be kicked into its nest. Forgetting that most basic of soccer techniques - keep your knee over the ball! - Thompson blasts the pudgy budgie over the crossbar as the crowd and the Brown bench groan in disbelief.

HALFTIME - Having shown that they can hold their own against one of the nation's best teams, Brown makes no tactical changes. Be patient, boys, and put away your chances!

49th minute - A Brown attack is repelled and the ball falls to right defender David Walls. The Englishman fakes a cross and pushes the ball toward the end line before serving up a silver platter of toast and baked beans to striker Dylan Sheehan who, though her prefers beef jerky and maple syrup, easily heads home from six yards. The until-now-subdued crowd erupts as the Brown players sprint toward the corner flag in jubilation.

54th minute - Freshman goalkeeper Paul Grandstrand '11, who doubled as a field player on his club team, hits one of his usual knuckling missiles up the center of the field. Sheehan flicks it to a scampering Davies, who times his run perfectly. Although Santa Clara's central defender is well positioned, Davies' remarkable quickness allows him to get a toe to the ball first, falling to his left as the defender delivers a Darius Kasparitis-like hip check. The ball lofts up and over the goalie's shoulder and rolls into the net. Davies jumps up from the ground and, looking every bit like a bowler on crack, lowers his body and enthusiastically hurls a single fist toward the sky.

80th minute - Santa Clara throws everything forward and applies sustained pressure for ten minutes (translated into ten Noonan years). The back line of Walls, Sawyer, Matt Britner '07.5 and Rhett Bernstein '09 hold strong and block several shots, and Grandstrand intelligently punches away several crosses.

90th minute - With 30 seconds to go, Jon Okafor powers by two Santa Clara players and plays the ball beyond midfield to Nick Elenz-Martin. Recognizing a 3-on-1, Elenz-Martin considers his options: 1) Dribble to the corner flag and kill the game, or, 2) Score. The sophomore initially chooses correctly (#1) and heads for the corner flag. But then, allured by the sweet siren call of a game clincher in front of a capacity crowd (#2), he changes course and sails his black-haired ship toward goal. Then, using a thought process that he would later attempt to explain, he blasts the ball over the crossbar as Coach Noonan breaks into a full body spasm. Santa Clara fires the ensuing goal kick deep into Brown territory, where they earn (but eventually miss) one final, heart-stopping scoring chance.

Said Elenz-Martin after the game, "I figured that if I was going to miss, I'd miss over the goal so that time would run out." Next time, we'll make sure one of the ball boys accompanies Nick onto the field.

Final Score: Brown 2, Santa Clara
Next Match: Sunday, September 9th vs. Fordham, 2:30 pm

Brown vs. Santa Clara
Starters - Grandstrand, Walls, Britner, Bernstein, Sawyer, Howerton, Elenz-Martin, Roland, Okafor, Sheehan, Davies

Subs - Eldredge, Thompson, Lee, Manuel