Brown 3, Cornell 1

The #4 ranked Brown Men’s Soccer team improved to 3-0 in Ivy League play and 10-1-1 overall this past weekend with a 3-1 victory at Cornell. Dylan Sheehan ’09 scored his team-leading eighth goal of the season, and Rhett Bernstein ’09 and Jon Okafor ’11 tallied their first goals. Paul Grandstrand earned the victory in net, making a whopping one save along the way. With the win, Brown retains sole possession of first place in the Ivy League, and they continue their season on Saturday, October 27th when they host Penn at Stevenson Field. Kickoff is scheduled for 7 pm.

Now, here is your post-game report:

Things that take six hours:

- Lord of the Rings parts I and II (unless we’re talking the director’s cut, in which case you’ll get through Fellowship of the Ring and part way through The Two Towers, depending on how many times you replay the “You shall not pass!” scene. Such a money line.)

- 21,600 push-ups

- One conversation with a Red Sox fan about Josh Beckett.

- Bus ride to Cornell

Just as a refresher, Cornell has a huge student body, some weird public/private hybridization, and they are SIX HOURS away. We’ve got nothing against Cornell, but sometimes you've gotta wonder why they're in the Ivy League.

Friday Afternoon - The boys break up the six hour ride to Ithaca by stopping and practicing at Union College, home of former Brown Assistant Coach Jeff Guinn. Guinn takes the opportunity to attempt to convince several of Brown's students to transfer. Just kidding, Guinny! After breaking a sweat and stretching their legs a bit, the team continues to the great beyond and settles in for the night.

Saturday Morning - After a morning of video, scouting reports, and stretching, the boys finally prepare for a 4 pm kickoff.

1st minute – Both teams come out of the gates looking full of energy. It must be the nicest weather in the history of Brown @ Cornell - sunny, 60 degrees, and dry.

9th minute – Brown plays a little game of 5 v 2 in the Cornell penalty area. Even without Coach Murphy in the mix, they maintain possession easily. Sheehan passes to Davies, who passes to Okafor, who passes to Elenz-Martin, with each pass being approximately two yards. The ball finally comes back to Sheehan, who takes a touch past a dizzy Cornell defender and easily kicks the ball in from six yards. 1-0 Brown.

10thth – 40th minutes – Brown alternates between following Coach Noonan’s game plan (calm coaching staff) and not following Coach Noonan’s game plan (angry coaching staff). When following the plan, Brown creates a lot of chances. When not following the plan, Cornell somehow does not. Brown finishes the half with an 11-1 shot advantage.

43rd minute – In a classic blooper reel clip, Dylan Sheehan whiffs on a scissor kick and the ball falls to a wide open Darren Howerton ’09, who misses badly. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off, as Sheehan does.

HALFTIME

63rd minute – Darren Howerton ’09 hits an in-swinging left-footed corner kick. As he often does, Rhett Bernstein soars high at the far post and wins the header, heading it back across the face of goal. A Cornell defender on the post has what appears to be an easy clearance, but completely mistimes his header and fires the ball sideways into the side netting. Think volleyball player trying to set a teammate, but instead shanking the ball into the net. Because his initial header was going in, Bernstein is credited with the goal, finally breaking his goalless drought. 2-0 Brown.

72nd minute – Right midfielder Jon Okafor ’11 plays the ball to overlapping right back David Walls ’11 and then breaks toward the goal. Walls takes a touch and then plays an intelligent ball back to Okafor at the near post. The keeper charges to smother the ball, but Okafor beats him to it and fires a first-time right footer inside the near post. 3-0 Brown.

75th minute – Brown is whistled for a foul just outside the penalty area. As Grandstrand sets the wall, a Cornell player takes a quick free kick and sneaks it into the goal before defenders or goalkeeper are ready. It constitutes Cornell’s second shot on goal, giving them an impressive .500 conversion rate. 3-1 Brown.

90th minute – The final whistle blows and the boys prepare for the long journey home.

On the bus – Brown continues a truly spectacular tradition – songs! Freshmen and anyone who has never sung before take turns belting out a capella versions of their favorite pop hits. Please note that Assistant Coach Ken Murphy has never sung, and refuses to. If you disagree with this policy, please email Ken_Murphy@brown.edu.

Some of the highlights include:

Tom Thunnel ’10 doing Kelly Clarkson’s, “Since You’ve Been Gone,” complete with barefoot hopping up and down.

Jon Behrendt ’08 doing the Beach Boys, “California Girls,” an apropos choice for the Marin native.

Isaac Jabola-Carolis doing Chumbawumba’s “All-Star,” featuring an interactive audience and a truly heartfelt performance.

Jarrod Schlenker ’10 doing a gutsy, never-before-attempted FALSETTO “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Serious props.

I’ll see what I can scare up for footage when I get back to Rhode Island (again).