Day 10

Morning - Ricardo and Leo, the administrators of Premier Soccer Tours and organizers of the Brown team's trip, are both from Rosario. Leo grew up playing for Newell Old Boys, one of Rosario's two largest and most famous clubs, now known for being the club where Leonel Messi rose to fame. On the morning of Day 10, Leo showed the team the youth training academy, where they saw a group of six year-olds who could easily demolish any U-18 team in the U.S. Incidentally, these were the fields where Lionel Messi first played. There is a popular Mastercard commercial that features footage of a young Messi on the fields:



Needless to say, Leo was beaming with excitement as he showed the Brown players around the club. A little later, he arranged for the team to visit a discount jersey store, where they could pick up some inexpensive replicas. Perhaps by coincidence, the store only sold Newell Old Boys attire.

Afternoon - Later that day, the team headed to a local restaurant/bar to watch the Brazil-Argentina World Cup qualifier. Leo and Ricardo had to pull some strings to get a group of 25 Americans into the incredibly packed facility, but they somehow managed to do so. The team took in the match with a roomful of Argentines whose very well being--and that of their friends, families, and loved ones--seemed to depend on the outcome of the match. They oohed and aahed every time Messi touched the ball, and seemed totally perplexed any time he lost it. In the end the game ended in a 0-0 draw, with most local witnesses agreeing that Argentina should have won.

After the game, the team loaded back onto the bus and returned to the hotel to prepare for their final game of the trip, against the Newell Old Boys reserves. It remains to be seen which team Leo will cheer for.

Day 9

Brown 2, Central Córdoba 1

Before the game - The morning of the match, the team is given a brief tour of Rosario. At first, most of the players seem a bit unenthusiastic. Then, the tour guide (a remarkably cute Argentine girl who speaks fluent English) appears. Suddenly, the team's collective posture improves dramatically, and everyone's messed up hair somehow becomes combed. "Wow," the girl says at one point in the tour. "You guys have a lot of questions. You must really be interested in Rosario."

2:50 pm - The team arrives at the field, fearing they might be late for the 3:30 kickoff. Instead, they find not a single member of the opposing squad.

3:30 pm - At the scheduled kickoff time, Central Córdoba have exactly two players. Coaches Noonan and Murphy survey the nearby road and place bets on which passing mopeds will drop off (or might be willing to drop off) players. Ryan Levesque heads to the highway and asks a pack of hitchhikers if they would like to suit up for the match.

4:45 pm - The opponents finally have eleven players, and the game kicks off more than an hour later than scheduled. A 35 year-old former first division star, who for some reason now plays with this second division side, begins to dominate the match.

28th minute - A Córdoba player uses what is known as "Argentinian On-sides" (5-10 yards offsides) and fires one home. 1-0 Central Córdoba.

37th minute - Several days of training finally pays off, as Brown strings together a lovely six-pass movement that culminates with a low Darren Howerton strike. 1-1 tie.

62nd minute - T.J. Thompson steals the ball from an opposing defender in the penalty area, cuts the ball back approximately sixteen times, and is eventually fouled by the frustrated, dizzied defender. Darren Howerton steps up to strike the ensuing penalty kick, and shoots low left as the keeper dives right. 2-1 Brown.

85th-89th minutes - As darkness sets in, Brown misses a series of easy headers and tap-ins from inside the six yard box. After each miss, a wolf howls at the moon and the sound of crickets fills the air.

90th minute - The final whistle sounds and the team stumbles through the darkness, hands raised in front of them, searching for the bus.

Day 8

As many of you know, there is a huge farmer's strike taking place in Argentina right now. As best I can gather, the problem began when the government raised export taxes on beef and grain, two major staples of Argentina's economy. They also began devoting increasing amounts of land to soy production--soy is one of Argentina's most profitable crops. The government claimed these measures were necessary to combat rapid inflation and other warning signs that were eerily reminiscent of those that preceded the 2001 economic collapse.

On Day 7, as the boys waited for their bus at the hotel, thousands of protesters marched from El Obelisco to the Plaza de Mayo, passing directly in front of the hotel. They banged pots and pans and chanted slogans in support of the farmers, in support of preservation of the land, and in support of unity. As the players stood and took in the scene, many of the protesters waved and cheered, encouraging the Americnas to make noise in support of their cause. One woman even gave them a copy of a poem she had composed.

On Day 8, the team boarded a double-decker bus and departed for Rosario, a city four hours north of Buenos Aires, along the Rio de la Plata. The question on everyone's mind was, would the striking farmers lengthen the trip, or prevent it altogether? They were blocking many major roads near Rosario, a city of one million people near the heart of Argentina's farmlands.

But in the end, there were no blockades and no flying pitchforks. After a quick 3.5 hour drive, the boys arrived safe and sound to Rosario, and checked into the hotel.

Andele!

Day 7

On the seventh day, the Brown Men's Soccer team rested.

In the morning, the boys explored the artist stands in Recoleta, where dozens of local artisans and craftsmen sell all things painted, knitted, and leathered for low, low prices. Unfortunately, several of the players were unable to purchase the things they wanted, as the merchants informed them that they had been given counterfeit money.

In the afternoon, the team returned to Ricardo's house, where they lounged around the backyard and ate fleftover beef and pork sandwiches. Needless to say, this second asado was just as delicious as the first, if not quite as epic.









In the evening, the boys were treated headed to the Argentina vs. Ecuador World Cup qualifier at the River Plate stadium. The match featured the best and worst of South American soccer -- bouncing fans uniting in song, flags everywhere, ten year-olds shouting insults at the opposing players, incredible displays of skill by Leonel Messi and the rest of the Argentine team, and time-killing tactics by the Ecuadorians that bordered on embarrassing. A last minute strike from Rodrigo Palacio rescued Argentina, and the game ended in a 1-1 draw, which every fan in attendance considered completely unacceptable.

Day 6

Day 6 kicked off with a 30 minute spinning workout at the local gym, led by assistant coach Ryan Levesque. As Levesque sat on the raised bike at the front of the class, barking out commands like Richard Simmons or Billy Blanks, it became apparent that he has missed his true calling. The speakers pumped out the house mix ("musica electronica") as the boys burned off approximately a tenth of the calories they ingested at the previous night's asado.

The afternoon featured a training session at the Argentinos Juniors training ground, and the evening consisted of some free time to explore the city. Because none of the team events were particularly photogenic, I've posted some pictures of downtown Buenos Aires for your ogling pleasure. Enjoy!

Day 5

Day 5 was incredibly packed. It included:

- A game against the Argentina Juniors reserves
- Lunch at a sports bar called 'Loco por el Futbol' to watch Italy vs. Romania
- A trip to Recoleta Cemetery
- An appallingly massive feast of pork and beef at tour director Ricardo (I don't know his last name)'s house
- A magic show!

Argentina Juniors 3, Brown 1
Warm-Ups: Neither team is allowed to warm up on the game field. Brown's field players play keep-away on a hard packed-dirt field, while assistant coach Ryan Levesque puts the Brown goalies through shooting exercises in a patch of land adjacent to a shack, with stray chickens. Levesque uses the chickens as token defenders, beating them with a series of clever stepover moves and curling in crosses, some of which deflect off overhead tree branches. The goal mouth is essentially a beach volleyball court, causing the goalies to be repeatedly sprayed in the eyes with loose sand on low shots, and to shake the dirt out of their shoes afterwards.

1st minute - Brown asserts itself immediately, putting Juniors under heavy pressure in the midfield. They force numerous turnovers and claim a good chunk of possession.

2nd - 30th minutes - The game goes back and forth, with neither side able to generate many great scoring chances.

33rd minute - A Juniors forward nods home a corner kick for a 1-0 lead.

38th minute - Darren Howerton plays a quick free kick to Jon Okafor, who motors down the right sideline and cuts the ball back to Nick Elenz-Martin, who fires in a low shot from 15 yards. 1-1 tie.

Halftime - Brown Coach Mike Noonan is highly encouraged by Brown's performance, and he tells them as much.

46th - 75th minutes - Both teams trade scoring chances and miss several clear scoring opportunities.

76th minute - Juniors breaks the deadlock with a nifty combination play and clinical finish. 2-1 Juniors.

83rd minute - Juniors seals victory on a great individual effort from their left midfielder. After running through the heart of Brown's defense, he blasts a perfect shot into the upper right hand corner. 3-1.




Lunch: Loco Por El Futbol
After the game, the team lunches at a massive sports bar in Recoleta. Eight large projectors complement the approximately 45 televisions that stretch from one end of the bar to the other, and hoards of international citizens scream in despair, joy, or disbelief with each play.



Recoleta Cemetery
After lunch, the team explores the Recoleta Cemetery.




Dinner at Ricardo's
The day concludes with a massive feast at Ricardo's house. As per the Argentine tradition, dinner begins around 10 pm and concludes when no one can eat any more meat, which is usually around 9 am the next morning. For reasons that are awesome if unclear, a magician showed up after dinner and starting doing tricks.

Day 4

To be honest, not a whole lot happened on Day 4. It was all about rest and recovery. The highlight of the day was the afternoon training session, when the team met the Argentina Juniors youth players, who were performing a series of exercises at the clubhouse when assistant coach Anders Kelto approached them and started asking them questions. Within moments, all exercises had come to a halt as the young Argentines swarmed the Brown team, hoping to learn more about their American guests, and maybe trade some gear. Here is a list of the most commonly asked questions:

"Where are you from?"

"What state is that in?"

"What position do you play?"

"Do you play well?"

"Is it true that college parties in America are crazy? They look crazy. I have seen all of the movies. There are many girls."

"Do you have anything that you can trade with us?"

Assistant Coach Ken Murphy slipped an 11 year-old player a piece of gum through the fence and instantly became the boy's favorite member of the squad. The boy was instantly surrounded by his friends, who insisted on getting a piece of his piece, leaving him with approximately 1/16th of his original stick.


Assistant Coach Nic Rossi meets a future Carlos Tevez.

Day 3

The team played its first match against the reserves from Estudiantes de la Plata today. For those of you who don’t follow Argentine professional soccer (there are probably a few of you), Estudiantes is one of the strongest clubs in Argentina. While they don’t garner the same international attention as Boca or River, they are one of the country’s most storied and successful clubs: World Club Champions in 1968, a slew of league championships, a first place finish last year, and a second place finish this year.

Estudiantes fielded a young but very strong reserve side – a combination of their best academy (U-18) players and young professionals, including three players who have played for the professional first team. For a Brown team that has trained together for only a week, and lacks a bit of fitness, the task proved too formidable. They were thoroughly outplayed (and at times run in circles), and lost 3-0. On the plus side, Estudiantes were fun to watch!

Here is your post-game report:

Warm-Ups: The referee asks to speak with the team captains. When he learns that Brown has two captains, he says, “Two?! But why?!?” After a brief explanation, he continues to shake his head, utterly unable to comprehend the concept.

1st minute – Estudiantes immediately finds its rhythm, moving the ball effortlessly from player to player. On the rare instance that Brown intercepts a pass, they maintain possession for only a few passes.

2nd minute – A blatanly offside player is waved on, signaling that it might be a long afternoon for the Brown backline.

15th minute – Estudiantes strike early. A corner kick finds its way through the crowded box, and an open player blasts it home from fifteen yards. 1-0 Estudiantes.

27th minute – After a nifty buildup on the left side, Estudiantes’ mullet-ed left midfielder curls in a perfect ball, which a towering forward clinically heads into the goal. 2-0 Estudiantes.

30th minute – Steve Sawyer takes a shot in the lower stomach and stays down. The Estudiantes trainer appears on the scene and administers a bizarre treatment that cannot be adequately described here—let’s just say it was a combination of groin stretching, Lamaze breathing, and an upper back massage, with whispered Spanish instructions in the ear. Athletic trainer Matt Culp is unclear what to do in this situation, so he remains on the bench, laughing.

33rd minute – A ball over the top is met by Estudiantes’ incredibly quick – but apparently offsides -- right midfielder, who skips toward goal and blasts a shot into the left side of the net. 3-0 Estudiantes.

41st minute – Paul Grandstrand saves a semi-breakaway from the left side, pushing the ball wide of the right post.

50th minute – Estudiantes’ central defender turns to striker Dylan Sheehan, who often appears fatigued, and asks, “You smoke? You no fit!”

58th minute – Another Brown player goes down, and trainer Matt Culp hustles onto the field. Once again, however, he is beaten to the scene by his new arch nemesis, the deceptively quick trainer. He politely asks the man if he can administer care to his player, and the man eventually complies.

60th – 90th minutes – Estudiantes continues to put on a clinic, missing shot after shot by several inches. Brown musters a handful of attacks, but is clearly outmatched. After the game, the players exchange “Good Games” and “Bien Hechos,” and Coach Noonan ceremoniously exchanges gifts with the opposing team’s representative.

After the match: The ever-gracious Estudiantes hosts escort the Brown team to its locker room, asking question after question about the team, the university, and life in the United States. After showering, the team enjoys a wonderful meal in the clubhouse, licks its wounds, and heads back to the hotel.

Day 2

On Day 2, the boys traveled to Argentino Juniors and practiced on the fields that such legendary players as Diego Maradona, Fernando Redondo, Juan Ramon Riquelme, and Juan Pablo Sorin used as youth players. When practice began, Darren Howerton ingested approximately three pounds of field grass, hoping to achieve a Maradona-like touch. Whether or not this tactic worked is still unclear. After the morning session and a light afternoon session, the team boarded a bus and took a tour of Buenos Aires. The highlight was a stop at the Boca Juniors stadium, where they snapped photos like a team of wedding photographers and flooded the gift shop like 18 Paris Hiltons. Two photo albums from the day's events are posted below. Enjoy!

Day 1

3:55 pm - The team bus from Providence to New York somehow manages to avoid the Puerto Rican Day Parade, which has turned Manhattan into a sea of red, white and blue flags, jerseys, bandanas, mini-shorts, mini-skirts, mini-panties and nudity.

8:35 pm - The flight from New York to Washington D.C. departs over an hour later than scheduled. When it touches down, the team is left with only a 25-minute window to make its connection.

9:20 pm - As the players rush through the Dulles airport, they are faced with a difficult choice: make their flight, or pick up a Bacon Double Cheeseburger Extra Value Meal at Wendy's. Within seconds, a line of thirteen hungry college athletes has formed at Wendy's. Through an act of divine intervention, the players all make the flight, vanilla Frosties in hand.

9:45 pm - 11 hours of flying begins, with the expected jostling and jockeying for position.

9:45 am - 11 hours of flying comes to an end.

10:15 am - The team boards its bus and passes through the sprawling suburbs of Buenos Aires. They observe the odd juxtaposition of dilapidated brick and concrete residences with colorful billboards for designer clothes and high end perfumes.

11:30 - The team checks in at the 725 Continental Hotel. Located just a few blocks off Calle de 9 de Julio, and within sight of el Obelisco, it is right in the heart of the downtown district.

3:30 - After lunch and a quick nap, the team heads to a training session at Club Atletico Platence. The stadium is a classic South American venue, with cement bleachers, decaying brick walls, patchy yellow grass, and barbed wire. They are let into the stadium by a friendly team of security guards and escorted to the sidelines of the game field. After a spirited session, they get back in their transport vehicles (aka "The Ice Cream Trucks") and navigate the crowded avenues and side streets of Buenos Aires. Despite the chilly temperature (high 40s), the streets are bustling with people. Trucks jockey for position with motorbikes that weave in and out of Calle 9 de Julio's fourteen busy lanes, while pedestrians slow traffic as they fight their way through the crowded side streets.

7:55 pm - After dinner at the hotel, the team settles into their rooms and takes in replays of the Euro 2008 games. After a long day of travel and training, it's early to bed...and early to rise.

It's (briefly) Alive (again)!

What do Michael Jordan, New Kids on the Block and the Brown Men's Soccer Blog all have in common? No, the answer is not "they revolutionized their art form" or "they are all stunningly attractive," though those are both technically true. The answer is...comebacks! All three announced their retirement and then later announced their return to the game, in grandiose fashion.

Jordan's comeback was a tremendous success -- I'm pretty sure he won sixteen championships after rejoining the NBA. The New Kids on the Block will be a miserable failure -- boy band success does not equal man band success. And the Brown Men's Soccer blog will, by all accounts, set a new standard for comeback excellence, eclipsing even Jordan himself.

Though I am no longer a member of the men's soccer staff, I, your humble correspondent, will be traveling with the team to Buenos Aires on June 8, as they tour the country, play professional teams, learn important cross-cultural lessons, and discover that Madonna was not, in fact, the president of Argentina. It is destined to be an educational and unforgettable trip, and I look forward to inadequately describing it.

In all seriousness, I traveled to Brazil in 1999 with the Brown team, and it was one of the most unforgettable, eye-opening experiences of my life. This trip should be no different, and I look forward to sharing the team's many wonderful experiences with you. On that note, please don't forget to donate money toward this valuable cause.

See you (sort of) in Arr-hen-teen-ah!

-Anders

Bruno In Command

(with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Brown eleven that day;
The score stood one to nil with just the second half to play.

Ten minutes passed and already a goal had been conceded,
A shot from nearly forty yards—most fans were still not seated.

Grandstrand thought it Bernstein’s ball and Bernstein thought it Paul’s,
Both players stopped, the ball skipped in, onlookers were appalled.

The halftime whistle sounded and the home fans longed to boo.
How could the mighty Bears come out and lose to ODU?

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope that springs eternal in BrowNation’s breast:

They thought, “If only we could score and knot the game at one,
We’d surely score the second goal—this game could still be won.”

The players marched back to the field this crisp November night,
Their uniforms now glowing in the incandescent light.

They scanned the urging masses as they closely huddled in,
And on a three count bellowed out a bleacher-shaking, “Win!”

And soon it was apparent that these boys were not distraught,
They passed and dribbled skillfully, they clawed and kicked and fought.

Five minutes in, a Davies shot, beyond the reach of all,
It kissed the bar and stirred the net, a dipping, perfect ball.

The striker leapt into the sky and pumped his arms—relief!
While manic coliseum fans now burst with self-belief.

Then shot and shot flew at the goal like missiles—whizzing, humming,
As hecklers yelled to injured foes, “The waa-mbulance is coming.”

Shots hit defenders, missed the net, were cleared to left and right,
and clattered off the posts—metallic echoes in the night.

Oh, with such joy and fortitude the players played to win,
Their spirits flowed with confidence, their upward lifted chins.

Then overtime—a corner kick—the fans got to their feet,
and stomped with raucous vigor as if sound could send defeat,

Three thousand throats united in a cry that shook the earth,
And players danced inside the box, prepared for winner’s mirth.

Then as the player set the ball and lifted high his hand,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Bruno in command.

The ball came swerving in and half a dozen rose to meet it,
Mittens hurled skyward with the enemy defeated.

But wait—the ball was cleared away? A counter had begun—
The ball was launched directly to a streaking striker’s run,

He blocked a tackle, ran to goal and with the keeper set,
Released a shot that bulged that awful, god-forsaken net.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,
But there is no joy in P-Town—the Bears have been knocked out.

Much later, when the lights go out, the stadium is cleared,
There linger but faint traces of a faded, distant cheer,

Coach Noonan sits with head in hands, that loss—so quick, so near!
He solemnly confesses, “I thought this was the year.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loyal readers: Thank you for following the Brown Men’s Soccer team during this historic 2007 season. It has truly been a pleasure to coach, play with, and write about this very special group of young men. If you are a regular reader of this blog, please do me a favor: post a comment below. I know the players and coaches read the blog regularly, and it would be great for them to hear your thoughts on the season.

Thank you for spilling coffee on your keyboard every time Brown scored this year, and thanks for reading.

-Anders

The NCAA is Evil

I am told that B2 Networks will NOT be video webcasting the game tonight because, as I understand it, the NCAA does not allow outside organizations to make money from NCAA Tournament events. Of course, this would make more sense to me if the NCAA offered its own video webcast which, of course, they do not.

But fear not, there is good news. There will be both a Game Tracker and an audio webcast with Mike Rubin available on the Brown athletics website: www.brownbears.com

The All-Ivy Selections

Ivy League Player of the Year - Matt Britner ’07.5
Ivy League Rookie of the Year - Paul Grandstrand ‘11

First Team All-Ivy
Matt Britner ’07.5 (unanimous selection)
Rhett Bernstein ‘09
Nick Elenz-Martin ‘10
Kevin Davies ‘08
Dylan Sheehan ‘09

Second Team All-Ivy
Paul Grandstrand ‘11

Honorable Mention All-Ivy
Darren Howerton ‘09
Chris Roland ‘10

http://www.ivyleaguesports.com/article.asp?intID=6307

Brown 3, Columbia 2 (OT)

Friday - On the way to New York, the team stops at Mario's (an Italian restaurant in Westport, CT) for dinner. While parking, the bus driver rams the bus into a cement barrier. Without assessing the damage to bus or barrier, he pulls out from the restaurant and begins what should be a quick 45-minute jaunt to Tarrytown, NY. Three hours, fifteen minutes, and one very unhappy head coach later, the team finds the hotel. The path followed is so nonsensical that it simply had to be recreated here. Follow the team's amazing adventures by clicking "View Larger Map" below and reading the text bubbles. Like terror levels, bubble colors correspond to Coach Noonan's anger levels. Green = Happy, Yellow = Agitated, Red = Blistering Rage. Enjoy!


View Larger Map

Saturday - So, the word on Columbia was that they had thrown in the towel. Evidence would support this theory, as the Lions were 3-12-1 coming into the match and had lost their previous four games by a combined score of 15-5...(dots indicate ominous foreshadowing)

Warm-Up - Columbia's seniors are introduced to a small but vocal group of supporters. Having already been eliminated from the post-season, this will be the last game of their career.

1st minute - Columbia comes out playing like, well, it's the last game of their career. They are full of energy and fight, very unlike the team that had been scouted.

15th minute – During a quick counter-attack, Columbia plays the ball to its left striker, who cuts it back to the top of the eighteen yard box. A teammate sprints in and fires an inside-of-the-foot shot past a helpless Paul Grandstrand. Brown is still asleep, and it is 1-0 Columbia.

16th minute – Columbia decides that one goal should do it, and they spend the next thirty minutes slowly withdrawing from the Brown half like a Galapagos tortoise cautiously retracting its head.

17th – 45th minutes – Lots of Brown shots, no Brown goals.

Halftime – “If you panic, you will lose this game. Don't try to be the hero. Relax, pass the ball, and play soccer.” Sage advice from Coach Noonan.

46th minute – A much better-looking Brown team takes the field, and I don’t just mean that Jarrett Leech replaced Paul Grandstrand at halftime. Brown begins to move the ball crisply.

47th – 65th minutes – Brown has many, many, many chances but still cannot score.

71st minute – A corner kick eludes everyone and finds Chris Roland beyond the far post. He settles the ball and curls in a vicious cross, which Jon Okafor meets with a slashing run before volleying home at the near post. Finally, a 1-1 tie.

75th minute – Having drawn blood, Brown continues to surge forward. A nifty passing sequence culminates with a spectacular miskick by a Columbia defender, and T.J. Thompson pounces on his poor clearance to fire into the lower corner of the goal. 2-1 Brown. With the shot count at 17-4, surely victory must be Brown’s!

83rd minute – On just its second scoring chance of the half, Columbia launches the ball forward into the Brown penalty area from just inside midfield. A Columbia forward rises and somehow gets his head on the ball, popping it over both keeper and defender and into the open goal. 2-2 tie.

OT –The Columbia keeper makes several saves. One of them might have been the best save in the history of college soccer. I really can’t remember; it's all a blur.

2nd OT – Coach Noonan subs in Okafor and tells him to “get on the goalkeeper.” Darren Howerton puts a corner kick in the box, right on top of the keeper. Okafor leaps and appears to disrupt the keeper, who pushes the ball toward his own net. In the ensuing melee, the ball somehow finds its way into the net. 3-2 Brown, a golden goal.

Brown parents and alumni rush onto the field to celebrate the team’s win and perfect Ivy season. The 2007 Brown team becomes just the second Ivy League team in the past twenty years to post a 7-0 record in league play. A t-shirt to the first person to name the other.

Overall Record: 15-1-1
Ivy Record: 7-0
Next Game: Wednesday, November 28th @ 7 pm vs. Providence/Old Dominion

Brown 1, Dartmouth 0: Ivy League Champions!

On a wintry Saturday night at Stevenson Field, the Brown Men’s Soccer team defeated perennial rival Dartmouth 1-0 and secured the 2007 Ivy League title. Dylan Sheehan provided the late game-winner, heading a Darren Howerton flip-throw into the net in the 83rd minute. Paul Grandstrand made several saves in goal to improve to 10-0-1 on the season, and the Brown backline of Matt Britner, Rhett Bernstein, Steve Sawyer and David Walls earned their fourth consecutive shutout. Brown now has not been scored on in six hours and fifteen minutes of play. The title is Coach Noonan’s seventh in thirteen seasons at Brown and the program’s nineteenth overall. The Bears conclude the regular season at Columbia on Saturday, November 17th and, now guaranteed a spot in the NCAA tournament, await the selection show on Monday, November 19th.

Here is your post-game report:

Pre-game – Seniors Jon Behrendt, Laurent Manuel, Kevin Davies, Matt Britner, and manager Wesley Royce take the field with their parents to be honored for four years of loyal service.

National Anthem – Long-time Brown Soccer announcer Chris Wahl asks the crowd to “Please rise and honor America with the singing of our national anthem.” A prolonged silence ensues. Players, coaches and fans cast inquiring glances toward the scorer’s table, where frantic employees press play on the unresponsive CD player. Then, in a performance that will forever live on in Brown Soccer lore, the vocally untrained Chris Wahl grabs the microphone and says, “Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in the SINGING of our national anthem…Oh-ho saaay can you seeeee….” As Wahl bellows out the tune like a hungry, slightly intoxicated Johnny Cash trying to get through a pre-dinner prayer, crowd members alternately laugh and sing along. He changes keys three or four times, but gets nearly all of the words right and, at song’s end, tips his hat to the crowd and receives a much-deserved standing ovation.

Hear Wahl's American Idol worthy performance here:



1st minute – As per the Brown—Dartmouth tradition, the game starts (and ends) like an oversized match of ping pong. Both teams launch the ball back and forth, with most contacts being headers or aerial volleys.

14th minute – Steve Sawyer plays a beautiful ball up the left wing to Kevin Davies, who strips the ball from a Darmouth defender, cuts it past a second defender, sprints into the box and lines up a wide open shot, only to completely misfire.

23rd minute – Darren Howerton receives a shove from a Dartmouth player and falls to the ground. The referee blows his whistle and runs over to issue a yellow card to the offending player, who ignores him and pursues Howerton, accusing him of diving. Pointing an accusatory finger, he shoves Howerton again, this time sending the wide midfielder sprawling to the ground. The outraged Colosseum masses hurl vile insults at the Big Green player and, as the referee reaches for his pocket, turn their thumbs downward. Off with him! He’s gotta go! The stadium official, Eric The Merciful, issues only a yellow card, sending the great unwashed into chants of protest.

30th minute – A Dartmouth forward sneaks between Brown’s two central defenders, chests down a cross, and fires a shot just over the crossbar.

32nd minute – Central midfielder Chris Roland collects a ball twenty-five yards from goal and shoots as hard as he can. His drive knuckles and finds its way through a crowd of players, but is gobbled up by Dartmouth’s Goliathan keeper.

Halftime – An impressive queue forms at the hot chocolate booth as the last few seats are filled by late-arriving fans hoping to suffer through just 45 minutes of November cold.

46th – 60th minutes – Dartmouth keeps Brown pinned in its own end. Matt Britner and Rhett Bernstein take turns breaking up Big Green attacks with well-timed slide tackles, while Paul Grandstrand punches away several dangerous crosses. The crowd urges them on.

67th minute – A Dartmouth forward strips David Walls of the ball and finds himself aggressively pursued by the fiery Englishman. Walls focuses his crosshairs on the player’s right shin and moves in for the kill, missing with his first swipe but connecting solidly with his second to send ball and player crashing out of bounds. The crowd raucously applauds his crunching tackle, and Walls proudly joins the ranks of the yellow carded.

74th minute – After another tussle, two more players are issued yellow cards.

83rd minute – As the crowd crescendos with anticipation, Darren Howerton hurls a flip-throw into the Dartmouth penalty area. Dylan Sheehan posts up his defender and flicks the ball toward the back post with the top of his head. The stadium holds its breath, wondering who will get the next touch, and to the surprise of nearly everyone, the ball skips to the back post and into the side netting. Brown celebrates wildly. Another Ivy League battle, another goal from a flip-throw. 1-0 Brown.

87th minute – After a Dartmouth corner, Jon Okafor collects a loose ball in his own half and charges forward, flanked by a battalion of teammates. Pulling away from his inferiors, he pushes the ball forward and charges beyond midfield, drawing Dartmouth’s final defender. The defender lunges to win the ball but arrives late and sends Okafor soaring through the air. Scores of Romans explode into a fit of rage, again demanding red from the referee, but again seeing only yellow. Outrage!

90th minute – Dartmouth’s final attack is smothered by Brown’s defense and the clock counts down to zero. Fans pound their chests and Brown players storm the grounds to celebrate their Ivy League title.

Post-Game Reception - Coach Noonan officially accepts the Ivy League trophy and returns it to what he calls, “It’s rightful place” (the glass cabinet in his office). After closing and locking the cabinet door, he melts the key down, swallows it one gulp and utters, “Try to get it back NOW.”

Final Score: Brown 1, Dartmouth 0
Overall Record: 14-1-1
Ivy Record: 6-0
Next Game: Saturday, November 17th @ Columbia, 7 pm

Brown 2, Yale 0

Saturday - Perhaps as a reminder that the Christmas season officially begins after Halloween (sorry, Thanksgiving, you had your time) Tropical Storm Noel travels up the eastern seaboard, producing heavy winds and rain from New Hampshire to New Jersey. Both teams agree to postpone the match until Sunday, and Brown passes the afternoon with a light jog to the Providence Hurricane Barrier and back. Said Coach Noonan, "I figured there was a hurricane, so we should go to the Hurricane Barrier." Makes sense to me!

1st minute - Brown immediately sets the tone by stripping Yale of the ball and stringing together a long sequence of passes. They control from the start.

12th minute - Another great series of passes frees Darren Howerton down the left flank. His perfect cross finds Dylan Sheehan at the back post, but Sheehan's close range header is saved by the keeper.

27th minute - Jon Okafor launches a rocket just over the crossbar.

36th minute - Rhett Bernstein catches an elbow to the face and hears a colossal "pop." Athletic trainer Matt Culp arrives on the scene and asks what happened, to which Bernstein replies, "Oh, he broke my nose." Aided, as always, by his adamantium-reinforced bones, Bernstein shakes it off and reenters the game. In the broken nose derby, Bernstein now trails assistant coach Ken Murphy 5-3.


These glasses now sit a bit more crookedly

38th minute - Rhett Bernstein delays the game for approximately three hours, attempting to tie his right shoe. As fans begin to nod off from boredom, the Brown coaching staff wonders if the blow that broke Rhett's nose also knocked out his memory of the "bunny ears" technique. Bernstein later blames it on "cold hands."

43rd minute - TJ Thompson beats two players and clatters the crossbar with a swerving, gyroscopic shot.

HALFTIME - After 45 minutes of utter domination, Coach Noonan tries to think of what to say at halftime. "What do I tell them?" he asks, scratching his head. The shot count stands at 13-1, and Brown has played arguably its best half of the season. They have simply played Yale off the field. The entire staff looks off into space for five minutes, coming up with nothing, but (importantly) giving the team the impression that they are discussing important matters.

70th minute - Chris Roland curls a teasing ball into the penalty area. Darren Howerton beats both keeper and defender to the ball and pops it to Kevin Davies with his head. Davies fires a quick volley into the half-open net, finally breaking the deadlock. 1-0 Brown.

73rd minute - Rhett Bernstein badly mistimes a bicycle kick. Then, as if playing Rhett Says, Steve Sawyer attempts to bicycle kick Bernstein's bicycle kick. This proves to be a terrible, terrible idea.

84th minute - Right back Laurent Manuel plays a beautiful forward pass to central midfielder Nick Elenz-Martin. Elenz-Martin races toward goal, draws the goalkeeper and defender, and drills the ball across the goal to sliding striker Dylan Sheehan. The ball pops up, rolls up Sheehan's shee-in, settles on the Canadian's belly, and toboggans into the net. 2-0 Brown.

After the game: Dance party in the shower!

Final Score: Brown 2, Yale 0
Overall Record: 13-1-1
Ivy Record: 5-0-0
Next Match: Saturday, November 10th vs. Dartmouth, 4 pm @ Stevenson Field

Brown 2, Rutgers 0

A winning machine. That's the best way to describe the current state of the Brown Men's Soccer team. Even when they don't play well, as was the case against Rutgers on Wednesday night, they get the result. The boys slipped and slid around the deceptively slick field for 90 minutes, rarely stringing together nice passing sequences. But they clamped down on defense and produced just enough good chances to get two goals and the victory. Man of the Match Kevin Davies had a goal and an assist, David Walls scored his first collegiate goal, Matt Britner shined in defense, and Jarrett Leech earned the shutout in goal.

Now, here is your post-game report:

1st minute - Brown inserts several new players for its last non-conference game of the year.

2nd - 14th minutes - Bad soccer. Both teams.

15th minute - Kevin Davies strips a Rutgers defender of the ball and sprints toward goal on a clear breakaway. His low shot is saved by the keeper.

HALFTIME - With the score knotted at zero, Coach Noonan warns the boys that they are in danger of another "BU performance" (Brown played poorly and lost 1-0 to BU earlier this season). "It's gotta be better!"

53rd minute - Jon Okafor dashes into the box from his right wing position and has his feet taken out from him by a sliding defender. Referee!!!

62nd minute - Matt Britner curls a perfect 40-yard ball into the space between the Rutgers central and left defenders. Kevin Davies spins off the central defender and outruns him as the keeper charges off his line. But the diminutive Davies is too quick for both of them as he toe pokes the ball over the keeper's shoulder and into the net. After the game, he claims that he actually shot the ball with his cleats. 1-0 Brown.

88th minute - With time running out and Brown protecting a 1-0 lead, David Walls sets up a free kick at midfield. Inexplicably, the referee issues him a yellow card for "time wasting." The card is Walls' fifth, meaning he will miss the Yale match.

89th minute - Kevin Davies begins an epic clutch-and-grab battle with a Scarlet Knight defender. Sprinting side by side over thirty yards, they jostle this way and that as the ball heads toward the sideline. (Picture in slow motion, with groans and moans.) Both players eventually slide out of bounds, but Davies somehow manages to keep the ball in bounds, while the Rutgers defender collapses, exhausted. The defender remains on his back in total fatigue, and appears to make a mud angel as Davies scampers toward goal with the ball. Finding himself on the first 4-on-1 of his career (that's four Brown attackers, one Rutgers defender), Davies ignores cries of "take it to the corner" and charges toward goal. How can you blame him? He plays it across the goal to David Walls, who takes a touch and calmly slots it past the Rutgers goalie. After the game, when asked what in the world he was doing so far forward on the last play, Walls replies, "Well, I figured I had me ten days rest, so I'd knock one home."

At least that's what I think he said.

Final Score: Brown 2, Rutgers 0
Overall Record: 12-1-1
Ivy Record: 4-0-0
Next Game: Saturday, November 3rd @ Yale

Brown 3, Penn 0

The #4 ranked Brown Men's Soccer Team tacked on another win Saturday as they dismissed the Penn Quakers 3-0 at Stevenson Field. Darren Howerton '09, Laurent Manuel '08 and Kevin Davies '08 tallied for the Bears, who improved to 11-1-1 overall and 4-0 in the Ivy League. Freshman Paul Grandstrand '11 earned the shutout in goal, making several fine saves along the way, and remains undefeated on the season. The Bears continue tonight when they travel to Rutgers for their final non-conference match. Kickoff is set for 7 pm.

Now, here is your post-game report:

During the week - The boys discover that Facebook can be used for something OTHER than looking at 613 pictures of some cute girl from Engin 9 who they are too afraid to talk to. They create a Facebook Event called "#4 Brown Soccer vs. Penn" and invite virtually the entire school (including, we assume, the girl). It appears to pay dividends, as the stadium side of Stevenson is full on a wet Saturday night during Parents Weekend, when most students just go out to dinner with their folks. Hey, bring home the National title and that girl just might write on your Facebook wall, guys.

Pre-game: Penn arrives at the field mascot-less and angry, perhaps because of this video. Well done, Brown students!

1st minute - Brown comes out of the gates like a pack of racehorses that has been cooped up for too long. The first fifteen minutes are all Brown.

23rd minute - Penn clears a corner kick from its own penalty area and Jon Okafor hammers a volley from 30 yards. The phrase "it was rising all the way" is used way too much in soccer and is almost never true, but in this instance it actually is true. Okafor's blast beats everyone cleanly, rises toward the upper right corner, goes just wide, and bends the metal support pole behind the net. Which reminds me, Stevenson now has those World Cup style nets--you know, the ones you and I always wanted.

42nd minute - Left back Steve Sawyer throws the ball forward to striker T.J. Thompson, who controls it and lays it off to left midfielder Darren Howerton, who is "underlapping" him. As the keeper advances, Howerton takes one touch and slots a quick left footed shot past him. It's that easy. 1-0 Brown.

63rd minute - With his typical insouciance, Nick Elenz-Martin saunters forward with the ball. A beaten Penn defender grabs a handful of jersey and goes water skiing, leaving Nick to look something like this. Elenz-Martin shrugs him off (literally) and cuts across the top of the box, where Laurent Manuel magically sprouts from the ground like a French Lilac and fires a low left-footed shot past the Penn keeper. A confused Elenz-Martin looks around, wondering what underground vault Manuel was hiding in, while the goal scorer runs around smiling like a sweaty French kid with a popsicle, and then performs the Thierry Henry double knee slide. 2-0 Brown.

82nd minute - T.J. Thompson collects the ball and runs across the top of the box. As defenders close him down, he holds onto the ball for what seems like too long. As Kevin Davies criss crosses with him, Thompson back heels to Davies, who takes a quick touch, nutmegs a Penn defeder, and fires into the net from ten yards out. Cheeky! 3-0 Brown.

90th minute - The final whistle blows and Brown salutes fans on both sides of the pitch. Their onward march continues.

Overall Record: 11-1-1
Ivy Record: 4-0-0
Next Game: Wednesday, October 31st @ Rutgers

Addendum: My post on national rankings and how they work has been updated to include the NCAA's RPI rankings (Brown is currently #5). This is the system used to seed teams for the NCAA tournament. Click here to read more.

Brown 3, Cornell 1

The #4 ranked Brown Men’s Soccer team improved to 3-0 in Ivy League play and 10-1-1 overall this past weekend with a 3-1 victory at Cornell. Dylan Sheehan ’09 scored his team-leading eighth goal of the season, and Rhett Bernstein ’09 and Jon Okafor ’11 tallied their first goals. Paul Grandstrand earned the victory in net, making a whopping one save along the way. With the win, Brown retains sole possession of first place in the Ivy League, and they continue their season on Saturday, October 27th when they host Penn at Stevenson Field. Kickoff is scheduled for 7 pm.

Now, here is your post-game report:

Things that take six hours:

- Lord of the Rings parts I and II (unless we’re talking the director’s cut, in which case you’ll get through Fellowship of the Ring and part way through The Two Towers, depending on how many times you replay the “You shall not pass!” scene. Such a money line.)

- 21,600 push-ups

- One conversation with a Red Sox fan about Josh Beckett.

- Bus ride to Cornell

Just as a refresher, Cornell has a huge student body, some weird public/private hybridization, and they are SIX HOURS away. We’ve got nothing against Cornell, but sometimes you've gotta wonder why they're in the Ivy League.

Friday Afternoon - The boys break up the six hour ride to Ithaca by stopping and practicing at Union College, home of former Brown Assistant Coach Jeff Guinn. Guinn takes the opportunity to attempt to convince several of Brown's students to transfer. Just kidding, Guinny! After breaking a sweat and stretching their legs a bit, the team continues to the great beyond and settles in for the night.

Saturday Morning - After a morning of video, scouting reports, and stretching, the boys finally prepare for a 4 pm kickoff.

1st minute – Both teams come out of the gates looking full of energy. It must be the nicest weather in the history of Brown @ Cornell - sunny, 60 degrees, and dry.

9th minute – Brown plays a little game of 5 v 2 in the Cornell penalty area. Even without Coach Murphy in the mix, they maintain possession easily. Sheehan passes to Davies, who passes to Okafor, who passes to Elenz-Martin, with each pass being approximately two yards. The ball finally comes back to Sheehan, who takes a touch past a dizzy Cornell defender and easily kicks the ball in from six yards. 1-0 Brown.

10thth – 40th minutes – Brown alternates between following Coach Noonan’s game plan (calm coaching staff) and not following Coach Noonan’s game plan (angry coaching staff). When following the plan, Brown creates a lot of chances. When not following the plan, Cornell somehow does not. Brown finishes the half with an 11-1 shot advantage.

43rd minute – In a classic blooper reel clip, Dylan Sheehan whiffs on a scissor kick and the ball falls to a wide open Darren Howerton ’09, who misses badly. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off, as Sheehan does.

HALFTIME

63rd minute – Darren Howerton ’09 hits an in-swinging left-footed corner kick. As he often does, Rhett Bernstein soars high at the far post and wins the header, heading it back across the face of goal. A Cornell defender on the post has what appears to be an easy clearance, but completely mistimes his header and fires the ball sideways into the side netting. Think volleyball player trying to set a teammate, but instead shanking the ball into the net. Because his initial header was going in, Bernstein is credited with the goal, finally breaking his goalless drought. 2-0 Brown.

72nd minute – Right midfielder Jon Okafor ’11 plays the ball to overlapping right back David Walls ’11 and then breaks toward the goal. Walls takes a touch and then plays an intelligent ball back to Okafor at the near post. The keeper charges to smother the ball, but Okafor beats him to it and fires a first-time right footer inside the near post. 3-0 Brown.

75th minute – Brown is whistled for a foul just outside the penalty area. As Grandstrand sets the wall, a Cornell player takes a quick free kick and sneaks it into the goal before defenders or goalkeeper are ready. It constitutes Cornell’s second shot on goal, giving them an impressive .500 conversion rate. 3-1 Brown.

90th minute – The final whistle blows and the boys prepare for the long journey home.

On the bus – Brown continues a truly spectacular tradition – songs! Freshmen and anyone who has never sung before take turns belting out a capella versions of their favorite pop hits. Please note that Assistant Coach Ken Murphy has never sung, and refuses to. If you disagree with this policy, please email Ken_Murphy@brown.edu.

Some of the highlights include:

Tom Thunnel ’10 doing Kelly Clarkson’s, “Since You’ve Been Gone,” complete with barefoot hopping up and down.

Jon Behrendt ’08 doing the Beach Boys, “California Girls,” an apropos choice for the Marin native.

Isaac Jabola-Carolis doing Chumbawumba’s “All-Star,” featuring an interactive audience and a truly heartfelt performance.

Jarrod Schlenker ’10 doing a gutsy, never-before-attempted FALSETTO “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Serious props.

I’ll see what I can scare up for footage when I get back to Rhode Island (again).