Brown 2, Cornell 0

The Brown Men’s Soccer team got back on the winning track with a 2-0 victory over Cornell on Saturday evening. The Bears received first half goals from Nick Elenz-Martin ’10 and Andrew Daniels ’07, but the real story of the match was goalkeeper Jarrett Leech ’09, who turned in one of the finest goalkeeping displays of the season. With the win, the Bears move to 3-1-1 in the Ivy League, good for third behind Penn and Harvard. The Bears take on Colgate on Tuesday night before heading to Penn on Saturday, in what is virtually a must-win Ivy game.

Now, here is your post-game report:

Warm-Ups – Darren Howerton ’09 shows off his new pair of ultra-sticky, poly-methy-something gloves, explaining how they make his patented “flip throw” much easier to perform in the cold weather. (Perhaps he borrowed some mysterious brown goo from Kenny Rogers as well?)

4th minute – Ian Premo ’07 whips in a ball from the right wing. Nick Elenz-Martin ’10 does well to control it with his first touch, wheels to his right, and hits a slightly off-balance left-footed shot on goal. The ball rolls, um, rather slowly into, quite frankly, the middle of the goal. Alright, maybe it was a little to the right of the middle, but it certainly wasn’t in the corner. Sorry, Nick—not gonna candy coat this one. 1-0 Brown.

18th minute – A Cornell player breaks free of the Brown defense, only to see his breakaway, and then his rebound, and then another shot saved by Leech.

29th minute – Brown is awarded a throw-in deep in Cornell territory. Howerton saunters over to take it, grips the ball with his space-aged cyber gloves, does a hand spring, and launches the orbital deep into space, much to the delight of the crowd (“Oh my…. Whoooooo-hoooooo!!!!!”) The ball is flicked on at the back post where Andrew Daniels ’07 performs an acrobatic side-volley, smashing the ball perfectly into the net. He celebrates with a bizarre, trunk-twisting robot walk, or was it just a bad salsa dance? In any event, the score is 2-0 Brown.

37th minute – Daniels splits two defenders and is fouled in the process. As the referee waves for play to continue, Daniels remains down on the ground for several moments, holding his knee. Oblivious to his injury, his teammates play on, stringing together several nice passes as Daniels tosses and turns in pain. Eventually, Daniels rises to his feet and limps forward as Ian Premo ’07 crosses the ball in from the wing. As if scripted, the ball falls directly into Daniels’ path and the suddenly healed striker hits a first-time shot on goal that the keeper parries away. The crowd erupts in oohs, aahs and laughter.

52nd minute – On the sideline, a ball boy accidentally collides with injured Brown captain Matt Britner, smashing into his recently surgically repaired right knee. Britner lets out a primeval roar that causes every living creature within a three mile radius to pause and stare at him in bewilderment. He limps away gingerly, doing his best to bite his tongue.

57th minute – Leech acrobatically deflects a 20-yard effort over the bar.

68th minute – Leech pulls off another double breakaway save.

77th minute – Leech pulls off yet another spectacular save, and head coach Mike Noonan notes that he should consider signing Leech to a long-term professional contract, if possible.

90th minute – The final whistle blows. Brown emerges victorious and begins a new winning streak.

Final Score: Brown 2, Cornell 0

Overall Record: 9-3-2
Ivy Record: 3-1-1
Next Match: Tuesday, October 24 vs. Colgate