Brown 2, Maine 1

So, you're dating this girl and everything seems to be going just fine. After the first date, she seems almost perfect, and the second date only reaffirms your excitement. But then, you go out with her a third time and suddenly, incredibly, she seems like a different person - uninspiring, maybe even a bit dull.

Such disenchantment must have been felt by fans who attended the first half of the Brown vs. Maine game on Thursday afternoon. Coming off very impressive performances against Santa Clara and Fordham, Brown came out for date #3 looking lethargic, almost lifeless. Maybe it was the midweek afternoon kickoff, or maybe it was the fact that Maine had only won one game in the last two years and therefore didn't seem to pose a challenge. Whatever the reason, the Brown coaching staff spent 45 minutes watching a group that seemed nothing like the group they had recently developed a crush on.

Fortunately, the team managed to pull it together in the second half. As a result, the coaching staff will probably NOT begin drinking too much, asking the team why they don't love them, and sobbing on the phone to friends. But we can't guarantee that.

Now, here is your post-game report:

1st minute - Brown gives the ball away at midfield.

10th minute - Brown gives the ball away in its own end.

17th minute - Brown gives the ball away on a square pass in its own box.

25th minute - A Maine punt bounces at midfield and is controlled by a Blackbear forward. He turns and releases what appears to be a harmless shot from 25 yards, but it somehow slips beneath the outstretched right arm of Paul Grandstrand '11. A clipboard flies, a bench is rattled, and the Brown coaching staff takes turns vomiting on the scorer's table. 1-0 Maine.

32nd minute - A Maine forward fires a free kick over the wall, and it clatters off the right post.

40th minute - Brown finally creates some scoring chances, but to no avail.

45th minute - Maine fails to clear the ball from its own box. It falls to Dylan Sheehan '09, who releases an arcing right footed shot from just inside the penalty area. The ball floats toward the back post, carving a perfect rainbow in the sky before beautifully bulging the net. Sheehan celebrates as if the strike had not been a mishit. 1-1 tie.

HALFTIME - With the emotional control of a practicing yogi and the color of a seasick sailor, Coach Noonan asks the players to please - PLEASE - not let this be the greatest day in Maine soccer history.

46th minute - Brown responds with much greater energy (including a very vocal bench) but the sloppy play continues.

50th minute - At last, the boys execute some good ball movement and get a handle on the game. The territorial domination begins.

64th minute - Acrobat extraordinaire Darren Howerton '09 performs his always-crowd-pleasing flip throw, this time with a low trajectory. The ball screams into the penalty area at head height, where it crashes into a mosh pit of soldiers. The head of Private Jonathon Okafor '11 rises above the rest and redirects the projectile into the net, and he celebrates with the giddy excitement of a six year-old who has blown his first bubble gum bubble. 2-1 Brown.

65th - 89th minutes - Brown keeps Maine pinned deep in its own end, but fails to score on several great opportunities, including one especially strong Kevin Davies '08 effort.

90th minute - The final whistle blows and the color returns to Coach Noonan's face. It wasn't pretty, but it was a result. As in love, I suppose you've gotta take the bad with the good.

Final Score: Brown 2, Maine 1
Overall Record: 3-0
Next game: Sunday, September 16th vs. URI


Starters - Grandstrand, Britner, Bernstein, Sawyer, Walls, Howerton, Okafor, Lee, Roland, Davies, Sheehan

Subs used - Thompson, McGrath, Behrendt, Eldgredge, Melitsanopolous




Just hours after scoring the game winner, Jon Okafor '11 begins studying Coach Noonan's dissertation/scouting report on URI